One of my favorite movies has a line about laughter through tears being a favored emotion. I’ve always thought that to be true. My brother is the best at it. And apparently, Leah too.
I will be saddest about just plain knowing she is not there. I will feel sad every time I pass Quail Hollow. I will remember her whenever I drink a vodka and tonic, whenever there is a golf game on, whenever I see an antique or an Andrew Wyeth print, whenever I eat a piece of high quality beef. i am so damn glad I cooked that God forsaken, obscenely expensive prime rib two Christmases ago. I admire how highly she always spoke of her husband, how deeply she loved her kids and her sisters and how fiercely independent she was. I am remembering their backyard, the train in the basement, the swinging doors, the hole around the tree, the smell of their garage ( I was always amazed at how clean it was compared to ours), the sticky vinyl of their porch furniture, the yard stick next to her bed to whack Grampy with when he snored, the huge urn of pennies, the magnets on her fridge for us. I loved her “little girls are made of….” sign. But most of all I will remember that laundry Shute. I thought that was the coolest thing in the whole world. She was loving yet not mushy. She was practical. She was a really good grandmother. I am so glad I have my afghans. I am sorry I never took the time to let her teach me how to knit before her hands got bad. I am so impressed how she took care of herself right up to the very end. I am so glad Jack and Nellie loved her and really knew her. I just keep picturing her with Grampy, with her parents and with Auntie Helen. She must be so happy. It is weird to have her die and J and E turn 10 the next day. Where does time go? Wasn’t I just 10 rolling around in the back of the Suburban on our way to Nana and Grampie’s house? Remember the eggs? I loved the sugar Easter eggs she would bring us every Easter. I loved doing errands with her in Rochester and going to Harvey’s Bakery. I will miss her cards with ten dollars in them. I will miss seeing her cane. Did she finally throw out the teddy bear soaps from my baby shower? I swear she had those things for at least 8 years in the soap dish. I will miss her sitting in her chair by the window and talking about the deer and the garden. I will NOT miss how hot her apartment was. Poor Jack would sweat bullets every time we went. I am so glad the music box is coming home with me. You can listen whenever you want.